Inhouse Tales
by Orange Memories
Summary: A collection of ficlets for the TV series. May contain a wide range of pairings and genres. Disclaimer: I don't own House, and I don't know who does.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Love at First Sight

Genre: Crack!

Word Count: 316

Fandom/ Pairing: House/ FY/ Ranma, House/ Female! Ranma

Prompt: Young House travels to Japan, while the Suzaku/ Seiryuu fight is taking place. He meets female! Ranma

For: Shiinabambi, who gets showered with cookies.

**Love at First Sight**

Fourteen-year old Gregory House was not having a happy flight. No.

He had upset the contents of his stomach at least twice, and was close to murdering his horrible strict father, who refused to acknowledge his pain, and his overindulgent mother, who was cooing over him like he was a two-year old.

Add flight attendants who didn't understand proper English, and you get a potentially deadly combination.

The flight from Okinawa to Tokyo seemed very long.

* * *

As they neared Tokyo, and flew over tall skyscrapers, Gregory felt much better. At least the disco-dancing flight would land soon.

And then he saw something, which made his jaw drop. A huge, goddamnedinsane gigantic- huge Phoenix was battling a dragon.

House declared to himself that he was officially dead or dreaming.

And then the pilot made an announcement. " Due to huge birdie fight we land imme- imme- dately."

House didn't bother about the English, but about his life now.

Oh God. This was gonna be one hell of a ride.

* * *

The plane landed with a crash and a thump among green foliage and taxied down the makeshift runway.

The plane bounced and jumped and finally stopped.

House made a run for the door before he flooded the whole plane in a sea of his wonderful sushi lunch, before-

A busty girl in a red dress chasing a panda knocked him over.

And Gregory House fell down, and as he saw her, he fell in love.

At first sight.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she yelped and she pulled House to his feet.

"But-

And she was gone. Like the wind.

* * *

" Blech! Do you think House is such a sugary-sweet romantic to fall in love at first sight?" Foreman asked, as he shook the test tube.

"That's what he told me." Wilson said, with a knowing smirk on his face.

" Sometimes House can be impractical too."


	2. Werewolves and

Title: Werewolves and...

Genre: Comedy, Humour

Word Count: 483

Fandom/ Pairing: House, M.D., House/ Lisa Cuddy

Prompt: Lupus

For: Airspaniel , who gave me my first House fic!

**Werewolves and …**

" House, what on earth are you doing?" Lisa Cuddy tersely asked. She had had a terrible day, with the usual meetings, trying to help patients, and ah- getting House to serve his turn at the outpatient clinic.

It didn't help her to know that House had brushed her off again in public, and she was close to the boiling point. And that the fight had deteriorated to the point where House was forced to introduce some comic relief by staring at her cleavage.

" Staring at your funbags. What else?"

A young man passed by them, giving a smirk in their direction. Cuddy was not happy.

" I hope you have some other work than staring at my...mammary glands." She hissed.

" Oh, but this is interesting work. And fun too. And what size are you, a 36-C?"

" There is a party tonight. At my house." She ground her teeth. "We're celebrating Halloween, and we're dressing up as characters from Harry Potter."

" I thought you had more intelligence than to read about a pansy 16-year old who is always angry, and wants to become a superhero by murdering evil people."

" People like Harry Potter, House, but I always keep forgetting you are not human."

" Are you implying I've been blessed with superpowers? Oh, I'd love to hear that, SuperrrrrrHouse coming your way!"

" Get over your greatness, and try to come for the party. And may I suggest that you would make an excellent Severus Snape?"

" Or Voldemort himself."

" Aha, you do read Harry Potter! I knew it."

" Reading isn't equivalent to en…"

" Oh, shut up." And Cuddy walked away with a wicked smile. Hmm…

* * *

" Did House say he was coming?" Chase asked Cuddy, dressed in electric blue and shimmering gold as Gilderoy Lockhart.

" No, House must have fought with her as usual, and complimented her on her…" Cameron replied for Cuddy, leaving a pregnant pause at the end.

" Oh, he will come all right. He's too vain not to show his beauty." Cuddy replied sarcastically, dressed as Professor McGonagall, in imposing robes and spectacles.

Suddenly, a howl was heard, freezing everybody's insides. The lights went away. The door was kicked open, and there stood a menacing werewolf. The werewolf calmly removed the mask, and House limped his way to the nearby sofa.

" What the hell were you thinking, pulling a stunt like that?" Cuddy almost screamed.

" Oh, I thought I'd make a very good Remus Lupin. A good werewolf in fact."

The lights came back on, and Cuddy could see his face clearly.

" Nice costume." She said, smiling.

" Not as nice as yours though. They compliment your ass and breasts."

If there was one thing in the world that Cuddy wished for now, she wished she could be Voldemort and send an Avada Kedavra his way.


End file.
